A bit of nostalgia for the engineers in the crowd: I give you the Engineers’ Song!
Lyrics below, and I even found a version that I recorded of the MecE band performing at Geer Week in 2008.
CHORUS:
We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the Engineers,
We can, we can, we can, we can demolish forty beers,
Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, drink rum,
Drink rum, and come along with us,
For we don’t give a damn for any damn man,
Who don’t give a damn for us.
Godiva was a lady who through Coventry did ride,
To show all the villagers her pretty bare white hide.
The most observant man on earth, an Engineer of course,
Was the only one to notice that Godiva rode a horse.
She said “I’ve come a long, long way, the man will go as far,
Who takes me off this goddamn horse and leads me to a bar.”
The man who took her off her horse and stood her too a beer,
Was a blurry-eyed old sapper from the corp of Engineers.
Godiva woke next morning and she had an awful head,
Decided to be sensible and spend the day in bed.
The only ones to visit her and brings her lots of cheer,
Were the broken-down surveyor and the bloodshot Engineer.
Godiva died, and where she fell a benchmark marks the spot -
In any engineering text it’s level can be got.
And in heaven everyday Godiva craves for beer, but
She’ll have to wait until the gates let in the engineers!
Godiva was a lady well-endowed there was no doubt.
She never wore a stich of clothes, just wound her hair about.
The first man who ever made her was an Engineer of course,
But on just one drink, and artsie fink once made Godiva’s horse.
My father was a miner from the northern Malamute,
My mother was a mistress in a house of ill repute.
They kicked me out at a tender age and never shed a tear,
“Get out of here you son of a bitch, and join the Engineers!”
An Artsman and an Engineer once found a gallon can,
Said the Artsman, “Match me drink for drink, let’s see if you’re a man”
They drank three drinks, the artsman died, his face was turning green.
But the Engineer drank on and said “It’s only gasoline”
I happened once upon a girl whose eyes were full of fire,
Her physical endowments would have made your hands perspire.
To my suprise she told me that she had never been kissed,
Her boyfriend was a tired Engineering Scientist.
Sir Francis Drake and all his men set out for Calais Bay,
They’d heard the Spanish Run fleet was headed up that way,
But the Engineers had beat them by a night and half a day,
And though ass tight as virgins, you still could hear them say …
Ceasar went of Egypt at the age of fifty three,
But Cleopatra’s blood was red, her heart was warm and free,
And every night when Ceasar said goodnight at one o’clock,
A Roman Engineer was waiting just around the block.
Venus is a statue made entirely of stone,
There’s not a fig leaf on her, she’s as naked as a bone.
On noticing her arms were gone, an Engineer discoursed,
“the damn thing’s busted concrete and should be reinforced.”
A maiden and an Engineer were sitting in a park,
The Engineer was busy doing research after dark.
His scientific method was a marvel to observe,
While his right hand wrote the figures down, his left hand traced the curves.
My mother peddles opium, my father’s on the dole.
My sister used to walk the streets, but now she’s on parole,
My brother runs a restaurant with bedrooms in the rear,
But they don’t even speak to me, ’cause I’m an Engineer.
After reading Kama Sutra, they tried position nine,
For proving masculinity, it truly was divine.
But then one day the girl rebelled, and threw him on his rear,
For he was a feeble artsman and she was an ENGINEER.
The Army and the Navy boys set out to have some fun,
Down at the local tavern where the firely liquids run,
But all they found were empties, for the Engineers had come,
And traded in their instruments for gallon kegs of rum.
An Engineering one came to school so drunk and very late,
Carry a load that you’d expect to ship by freight,
The only things that held him up and kept him on his course,
Were a boundary condition and the electromotive force.
Rapunzel let her hair down for two suitors down below,
So one of them could grab a hold and give the old heave-ho.
The prince began to climb at once, but soon he came out worst,
For the Engineer rode up a lift, and reached Rapunzel first.
We build all your bridges and we fix your roads too
There’s not a thing in the whole wide world an engineer can’t do
When your head is empty and your heart is full of fear
The first word out of your fucking mouth is call an engineer
The modern engineer must be politically correct,
No more motors lubricating, no more buildings rise erect,
No more electrical capacitors whose plates are high and fair
Instead of problem solving let’s just sit around and care.
A Commie and an Engineer were stranded on a boat,
One person too heavy though, the poor boat wouldn’t float.
The Engineer would flip a coin to settle the dispute,
So she flipped it in the water and the Commie gave pursuit.
Elvis was a legend; he’s the King of Rock ‘n Roll,
But the life he was leading – well, it finally took its toll.
He realized too late, he’d choose the wrong career,
So he faked his death and went to school – now he’s an Engineer!
When Mechs are feeling tired and when Civils are worn out
There;s just one place to go and that’s the bar, without a doubt
So the next time that you drink an ice-cold, golden, frothy beer
Get on your worthless knees and thank a chemical Engineer!
The artsie thought he had it all, his girlfriend disagreed.
One day she up and left him: He could not fulfill her needs.
“Where are you going?” the artsie cried, half-naked from the dorm,
“To find an engineer,” she said, “At least they can perform!”
Late one night, an engineer was lost in work and toil,
He set off to find a darling girl to help discharge his coil.
In no time at all he’d warmed her up, her resistance at a low
They fluxed until the morning’s light, when their fuses, did they blow
A man sat in a tavern with a lovely looking lass
And stared when for the nineteenth time time she raised and drained her glass
he said “You’ve out drunk four strong men, and half the bar, my dear.”
But the maiden smiled demurely and said “I’m an engineer.”
We love to sing, and rink, and sing: ‘We are the Engineers’
Too bad if we’ve offended you with any of our cheers
Sometimes we get too rowdy and we go harass the bands,
So you best make sure we always have a pitcher in our hands!
So now you’ve hear our story and you know we’re Engineers
And when we all shall graduate, we’ll all have great careers.
An engineer’s starting wage can pull in 60 G’s
While an artsie with a PHD can work at Mickey D’s.
Now you’ve hear our story and you know we’re Engineers,
And like all good jolly fellows we drink our whiskey clear,
We drink to every fellow who comes here from far and near,
‘Cause we’re a HELL-OF-A, HELL-OF-A, HELL-OF-A, HELL-OF-A HELL-OF-AN ENGINEER!
